L’Eremita has now moved tarot posts to Tarot Sparrow, my readings website. See you there!

Sorry.  I actually have a lot of things I can post, and no time at all in which to do it.  Life’s been overwhelming lately, and full of stress, but I’ve managed to find time to squeeze some readings in, and have had great fun with it.  I’m also hoping to get Tarot Sparrow moved to its own domain soon.  Anyway.  Here goes.

This reading took place back in December.  A friend of mine (recently single) wanted some insight into her love life.  I did a simple Past, Present, Future spread with my trusty Hudes Tarot and this is what we came up with.

Past – Five of Pentacles

This card (to me) indicated that in the past, the querent either used relationships as an escape from other pressures of life, or had experienced a bad relationship from which she needed to escape, or simply felt a need to go it solitary for a while.   It turned out to be a little bit of both–the querent had both used relationships as a kind of mutual support system, as well as taken an opportunity to go off on her own path when things didn’t work out, as a way to decipher her wants and needs.  Thankfully, there was no past trauma (at least not to the point that it deserved a card like this).

Present – Four of Wands, Page of Pentacles
Often, the Four of Wands is thought to symbolize marriage or civil union in terms of human relationships–but given that the querent was not in a serious relationship, I was surprised at first to see this card.  I asked the querent if perhaps she was having daydreams lately, perhaps of being whisked away (as in that old cliché of the fair prince)–she definitely was–and as a clarification card I drew the Page of Pentacles.  Not a prince exactly, but perhaps the closest thing to it in a traditional tarot, next to maybe the Knight.  Since the querent had no current love interest, I asked if perhaps there was someone who was interested in her–someone kind, stable, skilled, responsible, hard-working and/or well-off financially.  Whoever it was, she was not aware (though a bit worried that it might be her ex).  I guessed that it was someone quiet who was not very apt at expressing their true feelings, being more practical than outwardly emotional (the Pentacles suit).  If the querent wanted to be discovered, she might have to keep her eyes open, and make the first move.

Future – Death, Two of Cups
Now here, we see a definite change about to occur in the situation.  Death came up first, and I noted a transition of some kind, a shift from one circumstance to another.  As per what change, exactly, it was still a little vague, even though the natural shift would indicate a relationship on the horizon, given that it’s an obvious change from being single.  To confirm, I drew another card, and came up with the Two of Cups–undoubtedly the most reaffirming card possible: two people celebrating their love and companionship.

**However–it should also be noted that if it turned out my querent’s secret admirer was indeed her ex-boyfriend (in whom she was no longer interested on that level), these cards could be read in a different way–that upon revelation, any lingering feelings or remainings of the past relationship would meet their end, so that the querent could move on to other romantic prospects.  In this instance, Death can be seen as an action against the Two of Cups.

Overall, an interesting reading with some unexpected twists and a positive (or at least affirming) forecast.  My querent seemed happy (albeit a bit nervous), and willing to do her part to bring about change.  The cards were a bit cryptic this time, but once the identity of the admirer was revealed, the situation would likely unfold as predicted for each instance.  A strange and multi-layered reading.

First off, I will be posting more often.  Secondly, I thought I’d take this opportunity to talk about my tarot dreams – both literally and metaphorically.

I had a dream of tarot about a week ago.  I don’t have them often.  In the dream, I was in a room filled with people I knew from an earlier stage in my life–classmates from high school.  I was passing out to each person – from a standard deck (though not a specific deck) – a tarot card which was associated with his or her personality.  I did not actually take notice of which card I was passing out to which person, but it was assumed that the tarot knew the answers and the appropriate card would be assigned to the right person.  Afterward, we were all trying to decide which card we might consider indicative of the term “drama queen.”

In reality, I might suggest the Queen of Cups for her abundance of watery emotion, but in the dream we agreed upon the Devil.  An interesting, and rather telling, choice.  So who might have the Devil card, according to his or her personality?  Well, I could only think of one person, and she wasn’t there, and no one else had the card.  I, being the only one not holding a card at the time, wondered if rather it should have been me – the Devil still resting somewhere in the pile.

Interestingly enough, I have a nontraditional tarot deck (The Tarot of Transformation) with a card that is termed/keyworded “The Drama Queen” (pictured above).  Strange, considering the card is neither the Devil nor Queen of Cups, but the 7 of Cups, a card most often associated with an overwhelming number of choices, or abundance/excess, or perhaps confusion.  Hmm…it’s beginning to make some sense.

These are all issues I’m dealing with right now.  But pray tell, how am I being a drama queen?  True, I’m becoming outwardly frustrated at times, but I’m not throwing temper tantrums like a two-year-old (I hope).  The young woman pictured in this card is dressed in her finest, quite like a princess, or queen (complete with crown) and gazing at herself in a floor-length mirror (okay, this is ringing more than a few bells).  So she may be vain – I won’t lie, I am! – but the drama?  Notice she is on a stage of sorts, in front of a crowd, her self-scrutiny and vanity not only mirrored to herself but on display for an audience of people.  They could be anyone – peers, co-workers, family, friends, strangers.  The point is they are witnesses, and she is center-stage and most conspicuous in her opulence, her overstatedness.  Anything not outwardly obvious or superficial can also be seen – all her actions, emotions and thoughts (to any extent that they show) will be witnessed by everyone around her.  As if she weren’t more than capable of passing judgment on herself.

I’ll admit, this sounds familiar.  And it might to many of you, as well.  Perhaps we don’t mean to be drama queens, and can’t help it.  We are not all attention-grabbers (though I’ll admit I tend to wear eye-catching clothing, but that is not why I do it).  For some of us, very few parts of our personalities scream “attention-whore, ho!” or beg to be gawked at.  But some of us are drama queens by nature, rather than by choice.  Some of us dress to impress not because we want the attention, but because we want the look; some of us emote when we’re trying not to, or overreact when we’re trying to remain stable.  We cry at the drop of a hat when no one’s looking, and are over-sensitive to even the tiniest hint that someone we respect is upset with us.  We earn social stigma for being shy as opposed to being loud, because others think we are being exclusive.  And when we make mistakes, people notice and judge – or at least, we trick ourselves into thinking they do, when it is us who can’t handle the pressure, the workload, the confusion, the abundance, the emotion.

So what to do?  Well, if you’re like me lately, you snap – deciding you no longer want to live like this – and start reorganizing your life from top to bottom: schedules, calendars, devotion to your favourite hobbies, time set aside for anything and everything you need or want to do, in the hopes you’ll be more productive and happier.

You find a more tangible dream.  One that answers the questions you find your subconscious grasping at.  My dream is not simple – in fact, it is a series of dreams, all bound into the perfect life, one that perhaps I will never ever truly grasp or attain.  But I am trying.  A drama queen can’t fully escape her drama, but she gets tired of waiting for the dust to settle.

There are many small dreams I am beginning to follow, but my tarot dreams are as follows: I plan to spend at least one hour per day engaging in tarot-related activities, two hours each week drafting a blog post in my tarot blog (that means one post here per week), and an undetermined number of hours per week promoting my tarot skills by any means necessary, so that I can finally start reading the cards professionally with a frequency that leaves me satisfied (and hopefully, financially better).

I drew two more cards from the Tarot of Transformation regarding this whole drama queen/tarot dreams situation and came up with the Teacher of Disks (Passionate Play) and the Six of Wands (Inner Seeing).

These are the kinds of cards that help us in our dreams, tangible or otherwise.  A leopard is agile and filled to the brim with force, a master of its element, but it knows when to stop, when to use that energy for play.  Disks are the suit of earth, of tangible things, of money and health and the physical body we live in and use for all our important tasks – handling and crafting and building.  This card  teaches us to know when to rest our bodies, to know when to work them for other people and when to work them for ourselves.  Similarly, the 6 of Wands deals with personal success, and teaches us the difference between pushing ourselves for the sake of others and doing so for ourselves.  This particular rendition stresses the importance of self-love, of inner passion and wisdom, of the knowledge and respect we give and earn of ourselves by looking inward instead of outward.   These are the tools we need to define, process and execute our dreams.

I am using my energy to realize and actualize those dreams.  What will you do with yours?

So in the (relatively) short time since my last post, I have launched my tarot readings website! It is called Tarot Sparrow. Feel free to visit ;)

In the interest of informing potential querents of my reading technique and style, I’ve gained permission to display two recent in-person readings I’ve given to two friends (since most of the content here is personal). I will not use names to describe them, but rather alphanumeric characters–because it works, it’s easy, and yeah, it’s kind of funny. In each of these readings, I expanded upon the simple past, present, future spread to include a total of seven positions in a spread. That is, the future position was expanded into 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year positions, to follow up on past and present. In addition, a position was created for advice (‘A’ below). I used the Hudes Tarot for both readings.

….P…..P…..1m…
………………………A
…3m…6m…1y…

The first reading was for Mr. X. X has not seen his wife in a number of months, as she has been residing in her home state across the country while X attends school. There have been obstacles and choices blocking her return (the details of which I am not privy to), and X wanted to know what turns his relationship would take within the next year.

Past – 5 of Wands
This card indicated there was a lot of squabbling going on, and perhaps this was part of the reason for the delay. This doesn’t necessarily mean big things, either – arguments about little things and misunderstandings are likely. The querent certainly agreed with me here.

Present – Tower
The Tower is always a scary-looking card. Given that the present situation seemed a little less traumatic from what I was told, however, I took this card to mean that X and his wife were going through more of an upheaval of the past and transitional stage than a large collapse. The Tower here indicated a breaking down of old structures and a rebuilding of the relationship.

1 Month – 4 of Pentacles
This card indicated a few things to me. One, I saw X trying to hold the relationship together within the next month. Two, I saw his wife possibly holding onto something else, something that was keeping her from returning (as has been the case for some time). It seemed likely that she was holding onto her life there and current circumstances, as opposed to making the effort to return and starting over, after having been gone so long. The person in this card looks fearful – fearful of change, fearful of losing their grip.

3 Months – The Moon / 5 of Swords
When the Moon came up in the 3-Month position, I was a bit puzzled. The Moon can be vague and mysterious (that is its nature), and in a future position it was just that. The clarifying card I drew was the 5 of Swords, which indicated a one-sided quarrel, being influenced by the mystery of the Moon. To me, this indicated secretive behaviour, and I advised X to beware of keeping or being the victim of secrets or distant behaviour in the next few months, lest they cause more problems in the relationship.

6 Months – 10 of Pentacles
After all that trouble, it was nice to see things looking up within the next 6 months with the 10 of Pentacles. This card indicates a union of sorts, a completion and coming together of love and family. of home. It is important that the querent understand the meaning of “home” in this situation. This came up again later.

1 Year – 9 of Wands
I have trouble with this card from time to time, because it too has always seemed a little vague to me; but I took this to mean that X would be nearing completion of a goal by the end of the year – a successful rebuilding of structure in the relationship.
Advice – 4 of Wands
Here is where home comes back into the picture. We see two people between a structure of sorts, a garland hanging above them. This is a card of structure, family, home and marriage. My advice to the querent was twofold: first, re-envision the living situation, as this may make a difference in her decision to return. Second, stay focused on what matters: the marriage that has already been built. Don’t lose sight of the love and the life and the home two people have built together – keep it intact, and things will fall into place.

It was a nice message to end the reading, and X seemed to be satisfied with the whole of it.

The second reading was for Mr. Y (yeah, I know). Y was seeking a different kind of information – financial information – and wanted to know more about his money situation in the coming months. I used the same spread for Y as I did for X.

Past – 3 of Wands
This card showed that in the past, Y had been working hard and focusing on bringing in an income. I thought perhaps it also indicated savings, but it’s also likely that there was a lot of waiting going on, and the profit was waning as fast as it was gaining (sorry for the bad rhyme).

Present – 8 of Cups
This card shows someone walking away from something…in this case, a person who has left an old job behind and is currently searching for or beginning a new one. Y confirmed that he would be starting a new job in the coming weeks, which (from the money perspective) would cause an increase in finances.

1 Month – 2 of Wands / 4 of Wands
In the next month or so, I saw Y having to make a decision – one that might affect his finances somewhat. The 2 of Wands alone, however, seemed a little vague here, and as a clarifier I drew the 4 of Wands. Harkening back to X’s reading, I thought once more of home; but since Y was too young to be purchasing a home, I asked, “Are you thinking of moving in the next month or so?” Y admitted that he was thinking about moving to a new apartment. This decision would certainly have an impact on his finances, if he chose to do it.

3 Months – The Hermit / Strength
I felt a little puzzled when I saw the Hermit in this position, and thought of someone who was leaving their job to do business for themselves – which seemed soon, but something a summer job would certainly allow for in the fall. Y said he had done this once before. I was unsure, so I drew a clarifier – Strength. I began to think it was certainly a possibility, as Strength indicates someone in charge of their own well-being. I also thought this could also indicate Y living alone in a 3-month period and taking on extra financial responsibility.

6 Months – 5 of Cups
The 5 of Cups is a card of loss – or, as I also told Y, one that indicates “spilt milk.” It seems at this time the querent may experience a financial loss from which he will have to recuperate. But it is likely to be a temporary loss, and one that should not be dwelt upon for very long. It is better for someone to focus on what they can do with what they have, than to contemplate their loss.

1 Year – 6 of Wands
This card is a happy card – or, perhaps not happy so much as successful. The figure in this card is very serious, and someone who is being celebrated or rewarded. It is likely that within a year’s time Y will find a promising job opportunity, or receive a raise in pay.

Advice – Knight of Wands / The Devil
This was the first court card I had drawn that day, oddly. The Knight of Wands could indicate a person, or simply the qualities exhibited by such a person. In this case, I saw the knight as the querent, and someone who should bring their new creative and work endeavors to fruition without delay. The knights indicate motion, and act decisively. To further understand this card, I drew the Devil, and explained that it can mean indulgence. I explained to Y that this may be a time of splurging and personal enjoyment, but that it would be wise to keep heavy spending in check – at least until those endeavors have come to fruition.

Further Future – 2 of Pentacles
At Y’s request, I drew an extra card for the further future – for the next big change in his situation (keeping in mind, of course, that the future is very mutable). This card has always been something of a “juggling” card to me, and I explained to Y that further in the future he would be taking on extra responsibilities which could be fruitful – but also that he should be careful to maintain balance, so that he (and his finances) would not suffer a blow.

Overall, the readings went great, and both parties seemed to respond quite well. I very much mean to be a shameless promoter when I say, please feel free to visit my website!

I’ve been reevaluating myself lately. Moving puts a lot of things into perspective – among those things, tarot cards. I’ve been more drawn to ‘reading’ decks than ‘art’ decks lately, wanting to get back into it and know the difference. So I’ve been all about the Rider-Waite-Smith clones and the like, seeking tradition and easily recognizable images to get myself back in the fold. It is nice to be reading again. But I soon realized that I had to strike a balance between aesthetics and functionality – because as good as the RWS and its variants are for reading (the original, the Connolly and perhaps the Morgan Greer, to name a few I’ve used lately), they all feel the same to me after a while, and I long for something…unique. Enter the rest of my tarot collection. It’s been somewhat of an art choosing decks that I find artistically beautiful and worthy of serious study, in terms of reading or otherwise.

So to complicate things further, I’ve decided I’d like to get back into reading professionally. Well. Suddenly my carefully chosen, aesthetically pleasing reading/study decks seem a little intimidating. I suspect it will take me a while to get used to the idea of reading for others again (especially in person), but regardless I find myself longing for the simplicity of those traditional images to prevent myself from experiencing mind-block in the middle of a reading – an always-present fear. But then I think, how much of it is irrational?  I think it wise for me to experiment with a variety of decks, both for work and play, until I decide for sure on that one.

In defense of aesthetics, I’ve recently been attempting to put one of my long-professed favourites to actual use (shocking that all this time, I haven’t): Japanese artist Evan Yi Feng’s Lunatic Tarot (card edition). When the portfolio edition first came out, I couldn’t take my eyes off it – its sexy Lolita style, sepia tones, character-driven aesthetic. I was among the first to purchase the card edition, it being much more suitable for reading…and yet, I hardly touched the thing – wasn’t really sure if I even expected myself to. But with all these issues I got to thinking – it’s one of my favourites. Shouldn’t I give it a chance? So I did. I don’t remember the first few cards drawn (at around the time I was selecting reading/study decks just before my move), but they were shockingly straight-forward and cutting – among them the 8 of Discs. I certainly couldn’t think of anything more fitting of my situation than this man working heavily and to perfection, investing emotional and physical energy in tasks that required a lot of it – even putting the finishing touches on things, as was I (painting, patching the pinholes in my walls). At that point, I remember agreeing to use it. After arriving in Hanover (a few days in) I drew some more cards near the end of a long, hard day, all with a similar feel. The boyfriend had been working long and late, and I’d made the commitment to stick it out in the building with him for company and moral support whilst utilizing the nearby computers. A trying 15-hour day for all concerned. Yes, 15 hours – though no doubt worse for him. The first card I drew was the 10 of Wands, and I couldn’t think of anything more fitting for such a long, burdensome day. Upon asking what I could do for Matt I drew the 7 of Discs – a card of waiting, and patience as a road to fruitful endings (or beginnings). I asked then what he needed the most and drew Temperance, a similar card of patience, and perhaps more importantly, balance in all areas of life. This is definitely the most important thing he needs – something we all need.

Wish me luck with the upcoming readings. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

I’ve recently purchased the Connolly Tarot (in both regular and miniature size), which had me pulled in by its simple imagery and vibrant colours, despite being what some call an overwhelmingly Christian deck. As someone who is quite far from Christian, I’ve realized how little this bothers me – and since I’ve currenly no use for the book, it’s much easier to forget the religious connection. I don’t think I see it as overly fluffy, either – it just happens to be quite glowing.

Thus far I’ve only done the occasional daily draw from the deck, which has been left out of its box on my bed, cards splayed all over the sheets after a period of time (I’ve been sleeping with a lot of things on my bed lately). The cards I’ve been drawing have been confusing me, however – at least until very recently – and I got to thinking about the messages the tarot gives us that we don’t understand. This doesn’t happen to me much anymore. But the confusion started the second I drew my very first card from this deck: The Lovers.

That’s funny, I thought. If anything I’ve felt a bit solitary lately, and as far as deep connections go I haven’t had any fruitful endeavors in the sidelines I could label as such. So I gave it time. A few days – waiting for the big bang, the event that would reveal why this card has showed up for me again, for the second time in a month (I suppose it wouldn’t seem as big a deal to me if I were doing actual readings more frequently than I was posting them, which I’m not). A few days later I drew another repeat card, which showed up previously after my chinchilla died: the 6 of Cups. Yet there’s been less time for reminiscing, for spending time with friends and family and playing in the sunshine. So you can imagine my heightened confusion when the next card I drew was The Sun.

Why such positive cards? Is there something I’m forgetting, something I’m missing? Am I to read these as predictions, as summaries, as something else? These thoughts kept running through my head. It’s a good thing I’ve been so busy with other things, or they might have driven me up the wall. Until a day or two ago, when I drew a card that finally made sense: The Chariot. Of course, here we have a very physical movement, indicating my impending move to Hanover to spend the summer with Matt. Though naturally, I stared at it and thought, well, I already knew that. Yesterday, I drew two more cards: The Hanged Man followed by the 6 of Swords. The Hanged Man was upright, interestingly enough – probably one of the most interesting cards to use reversals with, though it’s no longer my style. He leapt up decidedly that way, so I decided he meant to. Well, naturally, an upright Hanged Man would indicate someone who’s already seeing things in a new perspective, rather than someone who needs to. Sacrifices have already been made, and the world is clear (though a bit topsy-turvy, for someone whose ankle is tied to an upside-down tree). Coupled with the 6 of Swords - another card indicating movement from one place to another, from one world to the next – this screamed the words “beginning anew,” with the Chariot pushing this once upside-down man and once trial-ridden woman into place. And suddenly it all made sense.

This wasn’t about explaining the present, or proving the past, or predicting the future. This wasn’t even about stating the obvious. It was about reminders. Reminders of things that lie in wait, of things that influence my day-to-day activity, things that inspire me to move forward. It’s not about grand gestures or life-changing moments, despite the abundance of major arcana. It’s about the little things that go unnoticed, the things that are ever-present and always developing and increasing in value. And I have these things. I have love and memories and optimism to carry me forward, and I have them even more concretely lying ahead of me. This isn’t about knowing what’s happening, or learning what I have in store. It’s about remembering what gets me there.

Strength. The last card I drew in a reading two days ago, after my beloved pet chinchilla, Sascha, passed away at 3.5 years…a mere third of the average lifespan. The cause is still somewhat of a mystery to me, though I’d been treating her on and off with antibiotics for the past few months. Nonetheless, I wish I could have done more.

Though I failed to predict her death (I hadn’t attempted any readings on the subject), I did perform a reading the night of her death as a sort of consolation to myself. Naturally, it did little to help, but little is the most I could have expected under the circumstances. I don’t profess to believe in an afterlife per sé – I’m more of a reincarnation kind of girl, though my views on the subject are still somewhat underdeveloped. They run somewhere along the lines of the conscious mind outliving the body – and while the consciousness (or spirit) doesn’t specifically relocate to a “better place,” it remains an unseen part of the world in which it lived…which to me constitutes its becoming not only one with the world (and in most cases, memory), but an influence on what comes next. As such, I like to think that every new being brought into the world exhibits some of the qualities of one that came before.

Due to my success with the Morgan-Greer Tarot recently, I decided to use it again (I am hoping to make it one of my main reading decks, along with a few carefully-chosen others). My first card drawing followed a question somewhere along the lines of, what message does Sascha want to give me? Ironically, I drew the High Priestess. For those of you who don’t know, the High Priestess is the master of the arcane – that is, keeper of secret knowledge and inner wisdom. I’d be lying if I said this lack of a straight answer didn’t annoy me upon first meditation. But the deck was right: this wasn’t about asking questions directly of a dead loved one. It was about coming to terms with the knowledge and wisdom I already had inside me. I rephrased my question, but given that I was a bit peeved and upset, was not clear enough with myself on what I wanted to know. Thus, instead of discovering the state of my chinchilla, I uncovered the state of myself: the Eight of Swords. Here, of course, we have a woman bound and wrapped in a blindfold, surrounded by a pillar of swords. This indicates a feeling of being helpless and trapped – the last thing I wanted Sascha to feel. I quickly realized, though, that this wasn’t the case, and that the cards were simply telling me I was reflecting my bad feelings onto the situation, and having trouble accepting any message I was anticipating. The thing about the Eight of Swords is it’s usually an unnecessary or voluntary entrapment, which is indicated by the blindfold (or in some decks, a woman locked away and holding the key in her hand). This card reflected my lack of faith – in myself, in the cards, in a good outcome (one that would be a given if I did, indeed, believe in an afterlife). I took a moment to relax (and, naturally, to renew my faith in my medium – which was, essentially, having a conversation with me). When I’d come to terms with what I was feeling I asked about Sascha, and drew the final card. Finally, an answer to the question I meant to ask – how was she feeling? The Six of Cups – in my experience, the playground of memory; of sharing in the past with oneself or with loved ones.

I cried, a little (okay, I’ve cried a lot in the past couple days). If I wanted my pet to feel anything, it would be reminiscence for the past, for her life, and all the good in it – something I, too, have been doing. Two little children playing among the flowers is a draw back to childhood, to happy moments. It may have taken me a while to get that answer, but in the end, I had needed those other cards to talk me through my grief and cynicism before I could.

Here is what I remember: a joyously fat, fluffy ball of the softest variety with a long, furry tail; someone who ran fast and bounced off the walls, and jumped high enough to reach my countertops; someone who got excited every time I shook the peanut jar, and every time I didn’t…who ran marathons on a squeaky wheel and swam rolling miles in a bowl of dust; someone who refused nearly every vegetable and gobbled up peaches and grapes and Skittles…who conquered the outdoors like a nervous stealth bomber – running fast, stopping abruptly, with no regard for direction. Someone who poked her head out of my purse in the bookstore and whimpered in her sleep when she had a nightmare; who lunged at any cat or dog that gave her trouble, who quickly learned evasive maneuvers and eventually, how to cuddle. Someone who begged like a puppy for treats and could still be aloof as a cat. Someone who bit my ex-boyfriend’s nipples (good girl) and fell asleep on my boyfriend’s butt. Someone bright-eyed at night and grumpy in the morning, who chewed on zippers and earrings and pillows. Someone who died in time to save me the hassle of moving with her, and someone on whom I’d have spent any amount of money to make sure she’d come along.

When I drew Strength, its message wasn’t the only thing I noticed. It is most often the only card in a deck in which an animal is being tamed – and in this case, I’d say, even stroked, loved. I promised Sascha someday to get another chinchilla. I believe what I believe about death for many reasons. Every time I get a new pet, I recognize something much older.

Sascha was my best companion through college. She will be sorely missed.

So I received my new Morgan-Greer deck the other day (gorgeous, vibrant, straight to the point) and decided to test it out with a few short readings. My first question: What will happen if I attend graduate school at Chatham? My first draw was the Ten of Cups, which was unmistakable in meaning: such a choice will bring happiness, friendship and fulfillment of goals. More specifically, I asked: How will attending Chatham for the next two years affect my relationship? To this, I received two cards: the Ten of Coins and the Fool. Once again, I was delighted to note a sense of family, union and relationship stability, coupled with a newfound sense of independence and adventure. Not too shabby. But I felt compelled to draw another card, to summarize the outcome for my relationship. I drew the World: a symbol of completeness, wholeness and (once more) fulfillment of goals. It eased my mind, and I can’t say I’m complaining.

On to reading number two: a general outlook for the boyfriend’s spring semester. Here, I drew the King of Coins: steadfast, financially stable, productive. A well-grounded, healthy individual with the means to accomplish his tasks. Clearly, this refers to the individual himself – but, naturally, since this is a court card, I wanted clarification. That draw ended up being the King of Swords (though appropriate, another court card) – a bit of a jab from my tarot deck, telling me to keep my cool and stick with the god damn card I’m given. Here, we have yet another master of his domain: this time, intellect. Here we have a man who reaps what he sows (symbolized by three strands of wheat wrapped around his sword), and knows how to solve his problems. He is strong of mind and efficient, able to tackle nearly any task with mental skill, determination and grace. Together, these two cards depict a strong-willed individual who can triumph over struggle and work through problems and make sense of ideas that carry him through life and studies.

Now, here’s where it got particularly interesting. I did a private reading for myself on a pressing issue I needed to deal with. I needed to ask my significant other a question – one I’d had in mind for some time – and was thinking of doing it the following evening. It was a rather serious question (not to mention one a girl is not conditioned to ask), and one that could forever change a relationship. I was afraid to do it, and wanted some input as to whether or not it was a good idea, and what I could expect. The card that randomly appeared on the bottom of the deck following the previous reading was the Two of Cups – a clear reminder of the situation at hand. I asked the deck what kind of reaction I could expect – what the outcome would be – and began to shuffle. Toward the end, a card leapt out of the deck: the Nine of Wands, telling me that I was close to something – a successful resolution, a goal I was trying to reach. I finished shuffling, cut, and lifted the one card that would assuage my fears: the Lovers. I nearly gasped, and breathed a sigh of relief, trying not to look too surprised – after all, the tarot knows what I’m thinking . . . we are one and the same. My next and last draw was the Nine of Cups: happiness and wish fulfillment. The best of readings I could have received, and enough to give me the courage I needed.

Now I know you’re wondering, did I ask my question? I did. And were the cards correct? Let’s just say I am happily engaged.

Recently, it has come to my attention that one of my Taiwanese imports is, in fact, not exactly what I thought it was – though not in a bad way. I am talking about the ever-popular Miracle Tarot – otherwise known as the Fantasy Tarot. The two versions have mere subtle differences, but differences nonetheless. The Miracle Tarot (which I thought I had purchased) has titles in English and a typical cardboard shelfbox. However, it seems I have purchased the original Taiwan edition, which (like most of my Asian imports) arrives in a velcro-flip-top-folding style box covered in Kanji, with the only English word in sight being “Fantasy” in large letters.

How I missed this distinction, I can’t say – interesting, though, that a reliable source states the original Taiwanese import was of a lower quality card stock and contained an additional 15 cards whose images seemed to duplicate those of the first 15 cards in the popular Clamp X Tarot, based on the Japanese manga ‘X’. However, though my deck contains the same images and titles in both English and Chinese, it is of superb quality (sturdy and glossy) and no additional cards are to be found. Strange, no? My guess is that it is indeed the Taiwanese version, and simply evolved over time. In any case, I’d say I got the better end of the deal.

Awww. I ask you, what has Asia not improved upon?

For my first post (#1) I would like to discuss the prospect of the #1 tarot deck (very seldom the first). There are many reasons people collect tarot cards. Some are readers, and some are not. Some collect them for the art, and some collect them simply to collect them. And there is no one definitive person who collects, or reads, or muses on the system: some are religious, some are not. Some are Pagan, some are Buddhist, some are devout Catholic or Mormon or Islamic or Hindu or Atheist. Some are in between, and some are somewhere else – in fact, everywhere: Australia, Canada, Britain, India, America, China, the Czech Republic, and elsewhere. I have encountered these people time and time again since I began my tarot hobby 8 years ago. Some readers have thousands of decks, while some have only one.

When I started tarot, I had one deck, which lasted me a good couple of years. During that time, I used it often – shuffling, drawing, spreading, reading, musing, learning and loving it. It turned a dusty grey around the outer edges within months just from the handling, the kind of grey that makes a tarot reader smile and adore their craft. Smudges from oily fingerprints, no matter how often one washes their hands before use; faded streaks so multiple that their pattern becomes uniform and all that’s left is one. You know the faces of everyone in it, their personalities, their habits. You know their world and their thoughts. They are you, and you are them; you know they can be trusted.

I now have what is considered to be a somewhat modest collection by some: over 50 tarot and oracle decks. Not one of those decks, since the very first, shuffles like my Hudes Tarot. Not one of them has greying edges, a reader’s bend, or a heart to match. I love them all, for different reasons, each with its own aesthetic appeal. But I didn’t start collecting to collect. I, like many other tarot enthusiasts, began as a reader, and did just that – read. I only needed one deck. But as most will tell you – namely those cursed with the glory of the world of tarot and the Aeclectic Tarot Forum – at some point, it stops being about that one deck…and starts being about the one deck. The one. Like significant others, among millions and billions (or thousands, in terms of tarot decks), the one you hope will melt your heart and satisfy you unduly. We’ve all been victims, and for the most part, loved it. I admit, I still do.

Oh look, this one has gold gilt edges – just like a fine, old-fashioned book. This one is full of Da Vinci paintings – my word! And Klimt, and Botticelli! And this one has cats – I love them – and here, this one’s so lifelike…the people are almost real! Look at the colours in these…these masterpieces; they remind me of my childhood, my religion, my muse…myself. They all remind me of me. Here we have silver foil – the decadence! Fabulous CG, or my favourite animé. This one’s designed from fabric scraps – how clever – and this one’s based on blacksmithing! How do I choose? Why bother? They’re gorgeous. I think I’ll take them all. Wait, I’m sure to love this one. It feels so right. How could I not want to read with it?

And what happens? We wait, and wring our little hands, and when the package comes, we admire it, forget it, put it on a bookshelf or tuck it away in its little box – then find another that’s lustworthy. Sometimes we don’t touch them for months, or years; sometimes we trade them away. It’s filler. It’s pointless. There is no ONE.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t collect. I’m not saying we shouldn’t lust. But we should always know why we’re doing it. I’m tired of looking for the perfect deck – as with anything worthy of love, a perfect example doesn’t exist. It sounds obvious, but we do it anyway. Maybe the rest are all perfect to look at – and for collectors, that’s perfectly fine. But for those of us who want to read, contently and monogamously, the perfect deck is the one that’s acknowledged, tested, loved and used again. And again. And again. And again. Behold, the answers – the glorious answers! – the trustworthy faces, the little grey traces. The love, the connection; the usefulness. Don’t we ever get tired of being promiscuous? Whoever made progress not trying?